Salsa Salvo
Salsa Salvo is L's fourth Heart-to-Heart in Xenoblade Chronicles X. It occurs between L and Cross in front of the NLA Food building in the Commercial District of New Los Angeles. Dialogue * L''' "Ah, my dear friend Cross. We were hoping you'd come by today." "We just signed a major distribution deal with a food manufacturer!" "Are you surprised? We bet you're wondering which of our inventions would be of interest to a food company." "Well, let us tell you—it's a low-calorie, highly-addictive, medicinal salsa!" "It's made entirely out of local Miran fruits and vegetables, including cosse beans, charupa leaves, and cranjelly." "It has virtually no calories, and helps regulate blood sugar while promoting good intestinal health." "Its flavor profile is so complimentary with processed meats, it makes hot dogs exponentially more delicious when applied as a topping." "So delicious, in fact, that test subjects will eat as many hot dogs as you give them in a single sitting!" "Well, are you impressed? You know how much we value your opinion." * '''Cross ** Envy: Express jealousy over how much money L will make. *** L''' "This sort of research is far from our specialty, but it was fun to experiment with the culinary arts and end up with something so interesting." "Even if it only meets our conservative projections, it should make a considerate amount of money." "Which we will then use to invent something that makes everyone truly happy!" "Ah, but we mustn't forget your human aphorism—"pride cometh before the autumn."" "It is quite possible that we will end up making only molehills out of that mountain." "We must be careful not to end up failing so dramatically as an inventor that we end up in debt. Like a certain someone we could name..." "After all, this is nothing more than a hobby to us!" (END) ** Worry: Express concern that people will overeat hot dogs. *** '''L "That is quite perceptive of you." "The salsa itself may be free of calories, but that isn't true of hot dogs." "The addictive properties would all but ensure that our customers would overeat and grow fat." "What a scandal it would be when customers started growing obese off of a salsa marketed as being low in calories!" "But...isn't there another side to this scenario?" "What of the hot dog makers who grow insanely wealthy from our addicted customers?" "They would emerge with the greatest profits of all, stealing the spotted light from us entirely." "And when the inevitable class action lawsuit hits, who do you think will be paying the damages? A poor salsa maker? Or the mighty hot dog cabal!" "As you can see, we've studied your culture. So are you impressed NOW?" (END) ** Advise: Suggest that L develop a pizza sauce for the Ma-non. (+heart) *** L "The representatives from the food company made the same request." "They said the Ma-non pizza market is bigger than the human hot dog market by a factor of 20." "But it's not as if we set out to make a low-calorie highly-addictive medicinal salsa." "It was just a flute! A lucky accident!" "So we decided it would be best to take our time and start by selling the salsa." "After all, a journal of a thousand miles begins with a single successful niche-market product launch." "And since you had the same idea, we'd be delighted to work with you on the pizza-sauce research." (END) Category:L Heart-to-Hearts